During a church business meeting (most bad stories begin this way), I was making a point about the necessity to expand facilities for our youth that I was working with. In order to strengthen my case, I had found previous times that the church had discussed similar plans. Every time they ignored the need to expand, they saw a huge dip in attendance. I brought this point up, among others, and I made Bruce very angry. He said I hadn't been here in those previous years, and that I was maligning the church. I really thought I was going to be in jeopardy of losing my job, but so many people came up afterwards and said I was right and not to worry about it. I was sure I was right, but then I started to wonder if my words had been necessary. Was it totally necessary to bring up the past to validate the present? I decided to call Bruce the next day. I could have told him that I was only speaking the truth and he needed to deal with it. Instead I told him that I was sorry for the way my words made him feel, and I asked him to forgive me. He came to my office, we cried and prayed, and it was all over.
We've gotta stop justifying the harsh words we use sometimes. Yes, maybe we were speaking the truth, but if it made the other person feel like we just punched them in the gut, maybe we need to evaluate if it was necessary. A man who's having an affair should have his sin addressed because it's true, kind (it shows we care about him and his family), and it's necessary (sin shouldn't be ignored). I've mentioned that we often try to justify our sins after the fact, and that goes for our careless words. We just know they had it coming, and they needed to hear the truth. But if your intention is to stir up anger, that's probably all you'll accomplish. Do you have someone that the argument just won't seem to stop with? What is your intention before your conversations: to win and argument or to improve a friendship? Your words will likely be remembered before your actions, so choose them carefully today. Is it true, kind, and necessary?
1 comments:
good post:) I remember that business meeting.
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