Proverbs 21

It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and vexing woman. Prov 21:19

I can still remember learning the lesson in my mind. I was a senior in high school, and I was thinking about what it would be like to be married some day. I was in a high school with plenty of girls, and there are always those that everyone noticed right away because their beauty made them stand out (just like my wife did). However, I had an epiphany one day. I realized that I was evaluating these girls only and not considering how we might get along. What good would it do me to marry a beautiful girl who didn't believe in Jesus? There would come a point that the relationship would be a nightmare instead of a dream.

I think it's funny that Solomon brings up the subject of living with a difficult woman, not just once but multiple times. Solomon had many wives, which doesn't appear to have been approved by God, but it seems that in having so many wives he was getting the punishment he deserved. I caution guys (and girls) not to get into a relationship based on surface impressions. A woman can become contentious when she sees a relationship is not what it once was. She desires the same attention in marriage as she did while you were dating. A guy who thinks getting married to a beautiful woman will solve all his problems, will be quickly brought down if he didn't marry for other reasons as well. Are you in a non-marriage relationship right now, that God has revealed is not His plan for you? Then you need to end it. Don't worry about how the other person will take it, if you know that you're not supposed to be in the relationship at all. Ultimately, listening to the Lord will be in the interest of both parties for the long-term. And if you are in a marriage relationship with a contentious person, YOU need to make the effort to eliminate the bitterness. You probably already know what you can be doing to ease the situation in your marriage. Divorce is never the answer, but living a life of selfless love with your spouse can change the atmosphere of a household in quick order.